Kailyn Cole and Hadley 10-12-05

****4 month update****

October 14th will be Cole's 4th month as our son. In that short time he has changed so much and already been through so much, I don't know where to begin. I'll try to go in some sort of chronological order. Cole had to have some major dental work as soon as we got home. The final tally was 4 fillings, 3 crowns and 1 extraction.....luckily they put him completly out so it wasn't to bad. He has been to the pediatrician about 5 plus time to get up to date on shots and various other things.

We have had a pretty big roller coaster ride as far as his behavior goes. We really were prepared for most anything, but were really blind sided by him lying and being disrespectful. It doesn't sound like much, but it has put both of us to the test more so than we ever imagined. On more than one occasion one of us has seen the other physically shaking out of frustration and anger. He seems to be bad for a couple weeks and then good for a week or so. Then it turns into a new battle. We have truely learned the importance of being consistant with our punishment, and it is paying off. Cole is really seeming to settle in and we feel confident that the worst is behind us.

Cole started first grade in September and has really been doing well. He meets with a language (ESL) teacher a few times a week, but outside of that he is just in a regular class with the other kids. He seems to finally be making some friends at school in the past week or so. His teacher says that all of the kids know that there is something different about Cole, but they just don't seem to know what. She has explained to the class that he speaks Russian and never new English before....but the 1st graders just don't really grasp that concept. His teacher has been so helpful in emails to us and keeping an extra eye on him at school. He comes home each day with new words in his vocabulary. He litterally learns 2-3 new words everyday and continues to use them afterwords. It is amazing how quick he has learned. He is probably speaking at about a 3 1/2 - 4 year old level right now, though he comprehends as a 7 year old.

Cole, Kailyn and Hadley all get together very well. He is very good with Hadley, and Kailyn and him have a good brother and sister relationship. Somedays they play together so well it brings a tear to your eye, and the next they play so bad you want to scream. All in all they get along very good and really enjoy each other.

It really feels now like Cole is a part of the family. That isn't to say that he didn't use too, but it is a different emotional experience to take in a 7 year old vs. a baby. I'm sure we would have felt the same if we had adopted Kailyn when she was 5. We really seem to have built up love and probably more important TRUST. I think that the trust issue was probably the hardest thing for all of us to build. Cole is a very good boy and will have a great life with us, we are very thankful to have him in our family.

JP